A handy master list of things I've either written or drawn. Naturally, I've lost most of it, so the most recent work is up here first--until I can either find the links to the rest or can fix the broken picture embeds.

One of these days I will magically produce a beautiful website with fabulous design and lots of bandwidth for absolutely no reason. It will be so astounding that people will have to turn their eyes away in reverence. Until then, you get this very, very half-assed link list.

(That website will probably never, ever happen.)

Also, coming soon: a rec list of recs like reccing things.


( Fic )
( Art )
( Comics )
( Commentfic and Quickfire Challenge Entries )

bauble wrote me fic! It's wonderful and devastating and totally my fault!

On another note, I'm getting adjusted to life out west. Even the roads are different here, man. And, for some reason, even though they give you a license that doesn't expire for fifty years, AZ has a traffic Nazi thing going on. People out here drive the speed limit (which, granted, is fairly generous) but they don't freaking check their mirrors. I've got kamikaze drivers out here; the kind who plow through three lanes of traffic to reach the exit without looking to see if someone might hit them.

It's mildly disconcerting.

So, folks back home, I'm sorry for the sudden departure. It was kind of an emergency move to resolve some issues my sister was having out here and we (family) decided it best that I keep her company. This, of course, isn't to say that my sister can't handle herself alone. She just doesn't have the capital for it at the moment and I, apparently, do. So, I'm out here and actually I think I'd rather be back east? But maybe that's the homesickness talking.

I miss you guys back east. Weirdly, I'm also missing DC's freakish, bipolar weather.

So, I'll be moving out to AZ in the next month or so. Probably by the end of October depending on when my transfer goes through. Life has been a frenzy of work and packing lately so my attention span for comments and other wonderful things has been virtually non existent.

Man, but I have a lot of stuff to sort through and, also, until I arrive and can buy bedroom furniture, I'm going to be sleeping on a cot. For real. This is just like living in England all over again (except for the part where everything is totally different except the cot.)


( Episode reactions for SPN 5.03 )

If I create a robot army bent on world domination and, subsequently, destroy my boss, it should be considered justifiable homicide. You may think this is an overblown way of going about it but you would be wrong. Also--dude, robots.

While I was on vacation last week, I missed a hilarious work day.

Sometime last week, a woman came into the store wearing only a bright pink towel. I am told she perused the magazines and was obscured by the racks, so it took people a while to notice. Customers would pause at the end of the aisle and stare before either shrugging and picking out their magazines or walking in the opposite direction.

I am also told she held a prolonged conversation with one of my supervisors (again, clad only in a towel.)

I would like to think of this as performance art of a sort, but she was apparently unaware of her state of undress and, after leaving the store, returned a few hours later fully clothed and apologized to one of my coworkers.

She had not realized she'd left the house in a towel.

My reaction, of course: "Oh god, and I missed that?" (My second reaction: "Was it a fluffy towel?")

Because I am very, very disappointed only to have a second-hand account to relate (for posterity.)

Dear Customer: Whoever you are, I love you. I really, really do.

Speaking of crack, chat brings it (we has it) in the form of Castiel and Dean (respectively) as a giraffe and a llama.

Now must sleep for real.

Title: Fragments
Author: uselessplayback
Rating: PG
Genre and/or Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Spoilers: Season 4
Warnings: angst
Word Count: 11,248
Summary: Dean felt like he’d been dropped into the middle of a video game, the kind that cleaned up the bodies after the player’s character left the room.
Notes: Thanks to bellajayd for beta. Serious, serious thanks, yo. And also to theparadoxism for her brutal honesty. You are fine, upstanding ladies with epic amounts of patience. Any issues post beta are mine.

( Fragments )

Title: Sandwich Fueled Righteousness
Author: uselessplayback
Rating: G
Genre and/or Pairing: Crack; Dean/Castiel, Sam
Spoilers: None
Warnings: This is silly.
Word Count: 459
Summary: Castiel smites and eats.
Notes: extraonions might have mentioned joyful food fic and smitey Cas fic in chat and I might have said, "Why not both?" Then she practically wrote it for me right there in the chatroom (the best lines? All her.) So, this is for her (and also mostly because of her.)

There might also be bad art involved.

( Castiel smites and eats. )

Next week will bring a long awaited vacation. The original plan was to tail The Sister to Arizona and help her settle in but I didn't get enough time off and, as it turns out, the Dad will be setting the pace. Months ago, when my sister was all, "Get time off and road trip it with me!" I was super excited and had visions of stupid roadside attractions, bad food, our retarded cars (my Paperwing and her clunker), but my dad decided he was going to get a piece of the action and that ship sank.

It has been years since I did the road trip thing, people. The last time was pirate themed. I'm serious, we listened to punk covers of sea shanties, dressed like pirates, went to pirate themed stores (and, bizarrely, a Christmas themed store) and plundered the beach. It was epic.

So, they are planning to take a very large detour to Chicago and I could go, but Chicago is about all I'd see. I love Chicago, don't get me wrong, but the idea of high tailing it to the beach for a week is. . .appealing.

Actually, it's more and more appealing the longer I think about it. Hours in the car alone with no one bitching about my music. Me, my sketchbook, a pen and some waves. I can dig it.

So, I should go to the beach, yes?

Title: Writing On
Author: uselessplayback
Rating: R
Genre and/or Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Probably not safe for work.
Notes: A while back (a few days? a week?) there was a conversation on deancastiel chat that involved people drawing on people and it was too good an idea to pass up.




( More of a quick sketch really. )

And a comic.



( Porn Names )

Saw Misha's recent picture of crazy and thought to myself, "I did not even realize that I needed to see that picture until it was there," and, "Any guy who pours yogurt on his face to get a laugh is OK by me."

On another note, long(ish) fic is in beta. Working on changes now.

( Cheesecake vs. Pie )
--
( Closets are for clothes, Fanboy in Denial. )

Title: Two Crack Scenarios in Which Lucifer Rises
Author: uselessplayback
Rating: G and PG respectively
Genre and/or Pairing: Gen, Crack (Dean, Sam, Lucifer) and Dean/Castiel, Lucifer/Castiel, Lucifer, Sam
Spoilers: Season 4x22
Warnings: Crack!
Word Count: 233 and 327 respectively
Summary: Lucifer rises but he is not exactly what anyone expected.
Notes: Uh. . .my brain is a very strange place, people. Also, if you never watched the original BSG, you might be kind of scratching your head and going, "Wait--what?"

( By Your Command )

( Days of Our Lives: Revelation Edition )

I realize I haven't posted anything graphic-like lately and I have come to remedy that. Sort of.



( First up, John Sheppard! )

( There is no excuse for this one, though. )

Quick, be distracted by this link: "Lo, I am become Death, Stealer of Pie."

Yeah. That's all I got. Will post more when I scan it. There is a serious backlog, yo.

Title: Cry Mercy!
Author: uselessplayback
Rating: PG
Genre and/or Pairing: Dean/Castiel, Sam
Spoilers: None.
Warnings: Crack! Pink! Paisley!
Word Count: 1,970
Summary: Dean and Castiel start a prank war. Sam suffers.

Notes: Uh, so--actually I have no explanation for this. Especially considering I haven't posted anything remotely like fic in, uh, a while, and considering I was actually working on a totally different story when I decided to write this one. Beta'd by theparadoxism but any mistakes after the transfer to LJ are mine.


( Cry Mercy! )

A few weeks ago, I ventured out with my sister to see a rehearsal at the Shakespeare Theatre Company for King Lear. Today, I got to see the actual production. I expected to see a lot more gore on stage because the implications were there, just not the cleanup. Also? One of the longest strangulation scenes ever.

And, for some reason, during intermission, I was reading ghost stories. I kept expecting someone to go, "What? There's not enough death on stage, you have have more?"

Cornwall and Edmund gayed it up a little. This was interesting considering the outcome of that particular relationship. A couple of the actors danced around the stage naked and I WAS NOT SORRY.

And finally, Jonno Roberts made a particularly fine Edmund. Watching him on stage now is twice as amusing after seeing him perform feats of gymnastics between lines during rehearsal.

Perhaps I could come up with a more coherent account later when I am not so keyed up with yay.

Last week we saw Design for Living, which also did not disappoint. Also: boy-kissing. Have decided that any play whose solution is a threesome is OK by me.

(So do not want to be at work at 6 tomorrow, however.)

I see the sun again! I have been saved from perdition the night shift and returned to earth the morning shift. It's actually really crazy how good my mood is these days. I feel less like I want to smite my fellow man and more like I should embrace him (in a highly embarrassing and inappropriate fashion.)

My good mood may also have something to do with the fact that customers were not assholes today. They were cheerful and polite, they thanked me and said "goodbye." I wondered if they were possessed but was too overcome by the unaccustomed rush of vitamin D to test the theory properly.

They must have been possessed, though. One of them actually made my boss call her so she could tell him how helpful and awesome I was. I feel like I'm living on another plane of reality.

My boss, though is still a dick. A couple of weeks ago, I was coming down the escalator and he nodded at me and said, "Good stuff," as he passed.

I could not restrain the full body shudder. I also will never be able to look at him again without thinking of the Supernatural episode "It's a Terrible Life." There are not enough chemicals in this world that can clean my brain now.

( I find your lack of ass disturbing. )

In other news, I've been sucked completely into SPN fandom of the Dean/Castiel persuasion. I don't know how it happened, only that it is really reassuring to know that I'm not the only one who thinks, "I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition," is one of the gayest things ever spoken (because the twelve year old in me totally went, "Hee! I'll bet he gripped Dean tight.")

Also, I feel like I need something to keep me going between seasons because I cannot download J-drama. (Woe!)

Yesterday, in the Children's Section I found a tiny plastic P-90. Since no one came to claim it, it is now on my bookshelf next to a tiny '67 Chevy Impala.

It's little things like this and the handful of regulars who come in and jaw with me about science fiction (and are pleasant, excellent human beings) that make my days better. It is also these things and these people that I prefer to think about even though my default setting seems to be pessimist overload.

Complaining is something I do well. I learned that from my mother.

( Pow! And I was blessed. )

Work lately has not been my favorite thing but reading fic on my phone at work? Definitely casts the day in a significantly better light.

( Too much caffeine. )

It's a been a pretty hectic month for me and by "hectic" I think I mean bipolar. A couple of weeks ago my sister returned from her time in Guyana with crazy stories about her time there. I would, normally, spill everything, but The Sister told me with crazy eyes that I was not under any circumstances permitted to say anything about "birding."

Like a complete dork, I was eagerly awaiting her return and would talk about nothing else to my buddy C. Although most of my rambling went something like this: "OK, and I love my sister but she is a total slob. And also? Kind of bossy. One time, I had to hide in the bathroom from her because she couldn't figure out where my PS2 was and was demanding I hook it up for her and--"

"You really like your sister, don't you?" C said, laughing at me. I blinked.

"Well, yeah," I said, not looking at C. "I mean, she's my sister."

When I told my sister about this later she laughed at me. "Dude," she said, "you are so bad at expressing your emotions."

"Shut your face, bitch," I told her calmly.

"Whatever, whore," she said, still laughing.

That's just how we roll.

( R.I.P, Grand Dad, you crazy train fanatic )

I? Managed to file my taxes at the last possible minute this year because I am a very special person. The kind of special that starts with "short" and ends with "bus." Because I was convinced that I could wait until Tuesday night until I realized (while driving into work) that I do not actually get out of work until Wednesday morning.

Short. Bus.

Somewhere, there is a cartoon version of me skipping through a field of daisies singing "la la la" and throwing flower petals because I am just that deluded. Thank you Pacific time zones. Because of you, I was able to go back in time and file my taxes.

This will, of course, never happen again.

---

I finally caught up on most of the TV watching I'd missed when I foolishly decided that two jobs was a good idea. On some level, maybe it was a good idea, but getting home at one in the morning when you know you have to be up at seven the next day is nice when it's a once in a while thing as opposed to, you know, every. damn. day.

( The Old School TV Dump )

( The Doctor Enthusiastically Prescribes Narcotics (and other stories) )

Despite the economic downturn, business has picked up even in our poorly located store. I don't know if serendipity had anything to do with it but, as soon as business picked up, I managed to pick up the seasonal plague. Here I breathe (or maybe cough) a sigh of relief because I wasn't sure if I'd be able to stand too many more of those rousing morning meetings chock full of trumpeting calls for the sales of more bears.

"Go forth, my good retail soldiers, and sell your bears! For if we in this poorly located store do not beat the district in the sales of these bears, my bosses from on high will laugh at me! Not only must we count on these bears, fearless minions, but the love of our customer base who fear and loathe us and our lack of seasonal support staff. I know you are weary but all is not lost! Smile, and this hideous season of commercial gluttony will come to a glorious end!"

The second job only tells us at our meetings that we should sell more wine (but not too much!)

If I were religiously inclined, I might thank the good lord that I caught the flu now because nothing else would have given me two consecutive days off in a row. Now, granted there are good times to be had at work. I particularly like taking time each morning while I'm shelving to pick the humor book of the day, although I have yet to find anything to top the postcard book, Grandma's Dead: Breaking Bad News with Baby Animals. (My particular favorite cards being the two reading,"Daddy's never coming home." and "God isn't real.") The humor picks of the day are good, but a girl can only work sixteen hour days for so long before she starts wanting to pick people off from the top of a clock tower. Or, barring that, sit in the middle of the floor and cry. Thankfully, I want to do neither.

That said, I'm going to go back to shivering in a dark room with only horror movies for comfort. And they are. Comforting. I mean, I've only got the flu. These guys are surrounded by zombies.